


What makes you think I'm so special?

by LissaWho5



Series: Sander Storymas 2017! [8]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Refrenced Panic Attacks, M/M, Multi, Music, Songs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 19:57:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12991389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LissaWho5/pseuds/LissaWho5
Summary: Virgil loved to sing. And when he did he would give it his all, but he was too anxious to ever do it in front of the others.OrThe Three Times The Sides Overhead Virgil Singing And The One Time They Didn't





	What makes you think I'm so special?

It’s not a secret that Virgil loves music.

He always had his phone and earbuds in and he usually had it playing if he was in his room.

What the sides didn’t know was how much Virgil loved music.

Music almost felt like it was a the core a Virgil’s being. It had a huge effect on him and it was so easy to get lost in the notes and feel the emotion that it trying to be conveyed through the chords.

He loved how versatile music felt and his favorites were the ones you could live through and how you can feel the anguish of the performer throughout the song. (That’s usually why he sticked to alternative and musicals, those songs typically had a meaning, though he’d be lying if he said he didn’t have some pop’s song on his play list.)

There was something in him that needed music, it was almost like their was something in him that craved to listen to the sounds and to experience them. Something that grew hungry if he didn’t get to listen.

Virgil’s singing ability was also not much of a secret to the sides.

The sides had heard Virgil sing before, so his voice was no mystery to them all.

What they didn’t know was how theatriatrical his singing voice was.

Since he was so attached to music it seemed that whenever he sang something he would go fully into character and put all of whatever emotion he was feeling and would get lost in the song and the passion that he felt. This was therapeutic to him as when he was having a bad day he could get some of the tension out by singing along tpoa song he liked and get lost in the notes.

He’s almost afraid to actually sing to his full ability as as he’s scared that he’ll go into that mode emotion in front of the sides and he’s afraid of being that open emotionally. That and he’s scared that they’ll laugh at how much he get’s into things.

Sure, he had sung in front of them before; he’d even sung in camera.

But even then he was holding back the emotions, but it was different then. He was performing in character as someone who is cold and dark and while he struggles with holding back, it was a lot easier when he was playing a part, a part he played for a long time.

So he continued to sing but did so in private.

  
But for better or for worse eventually the three other found out what Virgil’s singing was usually like when he was alone.

So here are “The Three Times The Sides Walked or Heard Virgil Sing And The One Time They Didn’t.”

-

The first time this happened took place a few months after the events of what the fans called Accepting Anxiety.

He was sitting in his new room (Roman had made them each a bedroom that would always be a bedroom and wouldn’t corrupt the others when they spent time in there) and he was actually having a pretty good day this reflected by his choice in music.

  
He put in his headphones and turned on his playlist that he labeled “Life Has Hopeful Undertone”

He was just scrolling through Tumblr bobbing his head to the beat when he realized his very song on the list was about to go on.

He was feeling a bit silly and he decided he might as well sing and dance along and get totally lost in it.

He got up and started singing to the song as soon as it began.

The song was called “Malfunction” by the group Steam Powered Giraffes. It related to Virgil a lot and he really appreciated it.

_“Who am I? What am I? What's inside? That's causing this Malfunction. Mislabeled, unable, to repair this Malfunctioning just fine, I'm alive. At this junction of dysfunction, we arrive.”_

He sang the words in perfect time and even hit that high note.

He continued to sing, losing himself completely. To the point he stopped being aware of surroundings.

At this exact moment Patton decided to pop in as Virgil hadn’t been returning his calls, but he stopped himself from speaking when he saw what Virgil was doing.

  
He couldn’t help but smile when he saw how at peace Virge looked and his voice sounded so nice. When Patton didn’t show up after a minute the other sides came in to check on them both but also stopped when they saw Virgil.

They were all in shock, especially with how optimistic the lyrics could be; especially when he sounded so passionate about them. Lines like “ _Be yourself sounds so cliche, But hey let's do it anyway._ ” And “ _Curvy, skinny, or bizarre, The best shape is who you are.”_

But what really stood out to them is when Virgil stopped dancing and looked at himself in a mirror (which was at an angle where he still wouldn’t see the other sides), put a hand against his reflection and sang this, “ _I want more from this stupid life, Do you want more from this stupid life? Ones and zeroes, ones and zeroes, ones and zeroes. Add them up, take them up, show them. I'm functioning just fine. I'm alive. At my junction of dysfunction we arrive. What's their Malfunction? It's a start; Can we teach them not to fall apart? Their Malfunction isn't us, it's all the clamor and the fuss. When I say that I love you, dammit Janet, take it as truth!”_

He seemed to be singing to himself, especially when he was telling “Janet” to that he loved them. He smiled a bit after that and finished off the song. As soon as they realized it was over, the other three left to give Virgil some alone time and they left without saying a word.

-

The second time they walked in on him singing, it hadn’t been nearly as happy.

Virgil had just arrived to his room, letting go off tears that had been building up.

It wasn’t a bad day to begin with, but that fact almost made it worse.

It started out fine but then Thomas got in a fight with one of his close friends and Virgil’s thoughts went negative and all of the sides were either sad, angry, scared or a combination of all three.

Virgil was left with being sad and scared and it didn’t help that Roman yelled at him for not doing his job at keeping Thomas safe emotionally (though he did all he could, this was out of his control) and while Virgil hated to admit it, Roman’s opinion meant a lot and hearing him say that Virgil is a failure hurt a lot.

Virgil ran out of the room after that, refusing to let them see him cry because as much as they had bonded in these last few months, he wasn’t ready for that yet.

After he calmed a bit he decided to put on a song to get this out of his system. Deciding on Obsession by Marina And The Diamonds being a good cry song, he turned the volume all the way up and started the first verse.

“ _Sunday, wake up, give me a cigarette. Last night’s love affair is looking vulnerable in my bed.”_

And by the time he finished the first verse he was crying again. And he didn’t stop even after it finished. But he put the song on loop until he got these feelings out of his system.

On the fourth repeat Logan came to the door to get Virgil out of the room but stopped when he when he heard him singing. He prompted Patton to come but stay quiet and by the time the fourth time was done all three were at the door. They heard the song start again and they really listened this time.

When Virgil sang the second verse, “ _Supermarket, oh, what packet of crackers to pick?They're all the same, one brand, one name- But really they're not. Look, look, just choose something quick. People are staring, time to go quick and skin is on fire, just choose something, something, something! Pressure overwhelming, Next minute, I am turning out of the door_  
_Facing one week without food. A day, A day,when things things are pretty bad. But don’t let it make you feel sad, those crackers were probably bad luck anyway.” ,they had all started tearing up at the very least._

He sounded so genuine when he sang that. Does Virgil ever feel like that? Is that what it’s like for him? They hoped not, but they couldn’t ever be sure.

When the music didn’t continue, the sides left. Assuming Virgil had exhausted himself and they doubted he wanted to be bothered. They could talk to him tomorrow.

Virgil was exhausted. That last verse took all him energy as that was the one that took him back mentally to where he was when the argument happened and he poured every emotion into it and now he was done.

He turned the song on after he was done and went to sleep.  
\--  
The third time Virgil was overheard singing it was a happier occasion.

Christmas had once again come to the mind palace and it was even more special this time of year because this was the first year they would be celebrating all together as a relationship.

Currently three of the sides were out of the house working on various things in the mind palace, and Virgil was in the kitchen listening to Christmas music.

He would never say it out loud, but Virgil loved Christmas music, especially those that could be listened to at any time of the year and be just as powerful.

His favorite was Hallelujah and he was quite fond of the cover done by Pentatonix.

When it came on he couldn't help but pause his baking to turn it all the way up.

  
He began to sing along, not worrying about being heard as all the Sides were out.

  
But as luck would have it, the Sides all came home at that time and they came just in time to hear Virgil song some of the song.

“ _Well baby I've been here before, I've seen this road and I've walked this floor. I use to live alone before I knew ya. And I saw your flag on the marble arch, and love is not a victory march! It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.”_

Virgil took a break for a second to calm himself down as he knew that he would start crying if he didn't take a break before the last verse as it was his favorite and he put the most emotion into that part.

The other three sides began to tear up again and it only continued after the last verse.

“ _Maybe there's a God above, but all I've ever learned from love, is how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya. And it's not a cry that you hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light, it's a cold and it a broken hallelujah!”_

Virgil teared up but quickly wiped them away and put some cookies on the oven. After it was over he turned around in time to see his boyfriends staring at him, a blush appearing on their face as they had finally been caught.

Virgil blushed too, slightly embarrassed that he had been found out, and he cursed himself out lightly for being caught.

“How long have you guys been there?” He asked wanting to know what they heard.

“Long enough to hear how beautiful your voice is.” Said Roman.

The words caused Virgil to blush more but he decided to reply with “Shut up Princey. My voice isn't great by any extent.”

They looked slightly surprised by this, but not very. This was Virgil, he was known for being more self deprecating than any of them liked to hear him be.

“Don't say that dearie! Your voice is lovely. I absolutely adore hearing it!!” Exclaimed Patton.

“He is correct Virgil. Your voice is very pleasing to hear. I can speak for all of us when we say that we enjoy hearing you sing.”

Virgil stayed quiet, besides a mumbled thanks, and the sides decided to take it. It's the closest they would get to Virgil saying he was good anyway.

Though it was hard to miss how Virgil seemed happier for the rest of the day.  
-

The day that the sides didn't overhear Virgil sing was an emotional one.

It came on their one year anniversary all the sides felt great in knowledge that today would be a celebration of that very thing.

They hadn't heard Virgil truly sing since Christmas, though understood he was just shy. Still they missed hearing him sing.

It was towards the end of the night when everyone had exchanged gifts and they were all cuddling and smiling, enjoying the warmth and comfort they gave each other.

At some point Virgil stood up and said he wanted to do something.

The Sides were nervous at first when Virgil stood up in front of them, but they still tried to be encouraging.

Virgil pulled out his phone at hit a few buttons and before he hit the final one he took a deep breath to calm himself, and then he hit play.

He began to sing and as the song went on he loosened up and halfway through he put all of his emotions into the song.

The song was from a show they all loved called Steven Universe and it was a favorite of them all. The song was called “Love Like You” and though the original was amazing, the Sides would tell you to this day that it could never compare to how Virgil sang it (though they may be biased)

When Virgil sang this; _“I always thought I might be bad now I'm sure that it's true. ‘Cause I think that you're so good and I'm nothing like you. Look at you go, I just adore you, I wish that I knew, what makes you think I'm so special.”_ Patton was bawling, Roman had begun to cry and even Logan shed a few tears at how authentic Virge sounded.

When he was done they were all in tears and they all embraced and told Virgil how amazing he sounded and that they loved him so much and that he was absolutely the best boyfriend they could ask for.

Virgil smiled and felt content, happy that his boyfriends loved his voice, but even more happy that his boyfriends loved him.

After that Virgil sang for them more often, even occasionally joining Roman in duets sometimes.

And although he loved the joy he got from music, nothing could compare to the joy he got from his boyfriends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I am really proud of this one and would love some feedback so please let me know what you think!
> 
>  
> 
> Songs in order they occur:
> 
> Malfunction by Steam Powered Girrafes (https://youtu.be/BE01dViWqAM)
> 
> Obsessions by Marina and The Diamonds (https://youtu.be/QMJI1FHhSe4)
> 
> Hallelujah by Pentatonix (https://youtu.be/LRP8d7hhpoQ)
> 
> Love Like You by Rebecca Sugar (https://youtu.be/FoBGAzY0JGQ)
> 
> Anyway thank you for reading!!
> 
>  
> 
> Have a lovely day/night!
> 
> -Lissa


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